My desire to work at a large company started soon after I moved to Rochester (NY) in the 70’s. It was certainly Kodak-world. Come early winter, there were all sorts of store promotions trying to get some of the Kodak bonus money that was distributed mid-March. When you signed paperwork at doctors offices etc.–working at Kodak benefits was the default selection. “No, I don’t work for Kodak,” I’d say meekly. Sure, I applied a few times, but I never got lucky. Year after year, I envied the workers in March and fantacized what I would buy with my bonus money…if I had worked at Kodak.
Although I enjoyed my human resource management position, I never felt like I had “made it.” My dream of working for a brand-name company continued to elude me–until the 90’s.
When I joined a small division of a large global pharmaceutical company–I thought I had gotten the best of both worlds. I was the HR head of this division (less than 150 employees), enjoyed the corporate benefit package but had a lot of independence. It was a great situation.
Then, the company merged. “Even better,” I thought. After getting an opportunity to relocate to the US Corporate Headquarters, I was very excited. Now in my 50’s, there was ample flexibility to transfer within the company–I wouldn’t have to worry about looking for a job at another employer–I could retire there.
I was making more money than ever before. I had finally achieved working for a large name-brand company…but I was miserable. It would be several years before I figure out all the pieces of why this wasn’t the right situation. There were many hard lessons for the 7 years I worked at that location. I will write more about them in upcoming blogs, I’m sure.
Because of that experience, I learned a lot about myself–what I’m able to change, the importance of using my talents and being true to my values and essence. The job didn’t turn out the way I had dreamed; but I now appreciate what I have–instead of focusing on what seems like a better alternative. Ah! Gratitude.
Have you ever found yourself envying others or another situation–only to learn it wasn’t like you had imagined? I’d love to hear your experiences.
