“Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.”—Charles F. Kettering
Chellie Campbell, who wrote The Wealthy Spirit, one of my favorite resources, just wrote about The Processional Effect–in a recent post. She shares how you start towards a goal and of course, acquire skills and experiences. Because of the insights you learn along the way, a new goal may appear to you–something that never occurred to you when you first started out. You couldn’t see your new goal or the new opportunity at the beginning, you needed that additional insight to “get it.”
I can so relate from my recent experiences starting my own coaching business. When I was first laid off from Corporate America, I decided to step away from my human resources experiences. Surely, now was the time to focus on something entirely new with my coaching career.
I began with a generic sounding company called, Best Life Consulting. After I relocated to North Carolina, I then focused my marketing towards helping other singles relocate. Eventually, I realized that none of my clients were single and none of them wanted to relocate. What they needed was help in finding what’s next for them–usually a career.
I soon realized that my prior business experiences could help others who suffered while they were working and for those who have experienced a job loss. That realization started me down the path of looking at the parts from my past that I should bring forward.
I joined WaggleForce–a national network of career clubs that was a brain-child of Tory Johnson (Workplace contributor of Good Morning America). The day I decided to become a leader with them, I felt it was the right step for me. Little did I know that it would lead me to where I am now.
Once I met with my career club members, I jumped in and helped them with their resumes–which were sorely in need of a tune-up. That led me to pursuing a a certification in resume writing and expanding my practice to focus on career coaching.
Although I wish I would have gotten to where I am sooner, I am embracing the processional effect and know that everything happens in its own time. As Chellie reminded me that the importance of a goal is that it is a path leading you in a particular direction.
Our job, then, is just start along a path and begin. Trust that it doesn’t matter what you choose, life knows what you need and will guide you to where you need to be–if you pay attention.
As you look back over your life, can you now see what lessons you were learning and where life was leading you?
What feels good to you today? What feels empowering, creative, and exciting? Those are signposts that Life is giving you. Go do that.
It’s Mother’s Day. A great day to remember my mom.
My mom died over 33 years ago–I was still in my 20’s. But even though she’s been gone a long time, hardly a day goes by where I don’t think of her in some way.
In church, there are her favorite hymns. At home, there’s the way she used to do things–and the foods she loved to cook. With my own kids, I often hear her giving me some of her wisdom–which I usually didn’t appreciate at the time, but now, I see how wise she really was.
My mom was not perfect and I have learned not to repeat her mistakes. I have learned forgiveness and to love her–warts and all.
She was one of the first women supervisors in the phone company. She was a good mentor to others and a loyal employee.
She led by example in many ways. She was fortunate to have a job during the depression. But she didn’t forget her cousins and nephews when they might not have clothes or food without her help. A generous spirit. I can only hope I have done enough to help others.
I used to hate it when little kids would come over and I watched her get “that look.” She was looking around the house to see what she could give them to take home. I worried, “not that toy” — nothing of mine was safe. It was her giving nature.
I wonder how my daughters will remember me when I’m gone. I hope they know, as I know now–that we moms do the best we can–always with unconditional love.
I hope you are remembering your mom today!
I found this in my files. Seems appropriate for Thanksgiving. The author is Unknown.
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times, during those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference.
It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I knew soon after Anders (not his real name) started working with me, I was in trouble–he didn’t like me. I wished I could have just ignored him, but unfortunately, this was the new manager I now reported to. Within weeks, he was making plans to hire someone “over me,” someone more strategic. Logically, I knew all this happened too quickly (I didn’t have time to screw up that significantly) for me to take it personally–but of course, I did.
Throughout my life, I have been a people pleaser (though I didn’t admit it until recently). So, I found myself trying to change myself hoping to get him to like me and have him “see the light–about what a great person I was.” I made several attempts–becoming more assertive, giving him more information, trying to be his “buddy,” — nothing seemed to work. My self esteem spiraled lower and lower–there must be something wrong with me.
It was then I had my first experience using a Coach. Barbara was terrific–she was always able to take whatever issue I had and helped me see another perspective. I always felt more positive and more empowered after each of our sessions. (Note: Barbara would be my inspiration to become a Coach some 10 years later.)
One of the things she told me was that Anders was sent as a soul mate for me. What–you have to be kidding. How do other people find romantic soul mates and I got him? What did I do wrong to deserve that? Barbara explained that soul mates are really people who are sent to us to learn from.
After awhile, I finally accepted her definition, but I couldn’t figure out what on earth my lesson was–except perhaps feeling badly about myself. I struggled with Anders for another 7 years and there were many painful moments. I continued to try and figure it all out, so I could move on.”
Eventually, I was able to see that Anders was sent to push me towards loving myself–just as I am. I didn’t need to please anyone else. The blessing I received was freedom to be authentically me. This awareness happened gradually, but I am amazed what a difference this has made in my life.
I’d be interested in hearing what lessons you learned from people who have crossed your path.