I’m an only child.  My mother was 42 when I was born.  Perhaps it was because she waited so long to get pregnant or her unhappy marriage, but it was obvious I became the light of her life.  I can remember her telling me  as a little girl, “I want everyone to like you.”  There were times after family events that she would criticize me because I just wasn’t funny or talkative enough.

It was a message I heard oh-so-well.  Matter of fact, trying to get everyone’s approval haunted me throughout most of my life.  I didn’t always acknowledge the power it had over me.  It all came to a head when a new manager was hired back in the late 90’s.  I had this instant “knowing” that he didn’t like me–right from the beginning.  The biggest problem was–I reported to him.

I did my Jane thing — trying to change myself, hoping he would like me if I did this or that.   When it didn’t work, I’d try something else.  Within a few weeks, I was crushed to learn he decided I wasn’t “strategic enough” and hired someone over me.

I took it all very personally–I hired a coach to help me deal with the situation. One of the things she told me was that he was my soul mate.  Huh?  She went on to explain that a soul mate is someone you learn from.  I was really p–sed that everyone else seemed to get romantic soul mates and all I got was him!

There were times when I threw my hands up in the air in frustration.  “Help me out here, God–what IS it I have to learn?”  I guess I’m a slow learner, because it took me several years (six to be exact) to understand some of the things my coach had told me–what I had to learn from this man.

So, even though it took awhile, I finally got it–I was enough just as I am.  I needed to understand that I had to just be me and didn’t need to change myself to fit anyone’s expectation (it doesn’t work anyway).  After spending a life time getting people to like me–I met my match with him.  It was a hard lesson — but it eventually released me from a lifetime of having to anticipate what others wanted.  I finally found freedom to just be me!

People pleasing is a “disease” that a lot of women suffer from.  What about you?  Is this something you struggle with?  Have you overcome it or are you still troubled with it?

Subscribe to the Articles
Look What’s New!
Connect
    
Testimonials

Although I had your business card for a few weeks, I hesitated calling you until one day, I just felt inspired to contact you. Am I glad I did! After applying for literally hundreds of jobs this past year with not even one interview…after sending the résumé you created for me, not only did I get the interview, but I got the job! I feel that God inspired me to move forward and sent you into my life when I needed it the most. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
—J. Bloomfield, Asheville, NC

 

So, thought I'd brighten your day!  My new supervisor complimented my resume. She said she liked the summary at the top. She also commented that she wasn't positive that my background would've jumped out as a perfect match, but it was written in a way that highlighted my skills as a match for her needs. The resume you wrote for me did much more than any of those things, however. It changed the way I view myself.  It supported me, and gave me a confidence that I was lacking at that time. When I first saw your draft, I didn't immediately connect with it, yet I knew it was all truth. It grew on me, or I grew into it. By the time I walked into those last 2 interviews, I had a new confidence. Something deeper than just knowing I could do the job. I knew I was the right choice. That confidence, that knowing, attracted those jobs to me as surely as my credentials well presented.  It was both, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 
—J. Everson, Bloomfield, KY

 

I just wanted to write and let you know how much I appreciate your help with my resume. It worked!!! I have had 3 interviews, a step I did not reach before. While I have not received a job offer yet, I know it is just a matter of time before I find a position that is the right fit. Your help with the resume made all the difference!
—L. McLamb Asheville

 

I have built my business through satisfied clients so I cherish testimonials. One of the most stand-out testimonials that was given to me was shared by a client I coached to help her with an upcoming interview.

This client told me later, that she had met a woman at a community event. Jen shared about looking for a position and was telling her about the "biz coach" who prepped her for the interview. The other woman mentioned how she found this excellent person to do her resume and that the résumé itself was highly complemented on in her interview. And best yet, she got the job in the end! In a few minutes, they deducted they were both talking about the same person…ME!

Certifications: